Oh what a year full of ups and downs and twists and turns. I don't regret anything because I feel like if I did I wouldn't be the person that I am today. So many of my decisions, both good and bad, form me to be a better person each day. There are so many things to look forward to in the next few weeks.
1. Graduation May 14th
2. End of finals May 10th
3. CNA class starts May 16th
4. Moving out May 13th
5. Working a ton
6. Soundset @ end of May
I'm excited and very hopeful for the future. There have been a lot of new people in my life, old people in my life and I've lost some of those that meant a lot to me. But in the end everythiing turns out for the better. I have learned that I need to trust myself and give myself more credit for when I know something isn't right for myself. My biggest problem is listening to myself when it comes to those that I let get close to me. I need to learn to trust myself when I know that someone isn't good for me and when there are those that are good for me. Luckily, even though the first few months of the school year were extremely rough, a lot of really good people emerged into my life. There were some that were acquaintances from last summer and there were those I've known for years that have become a greater part of my life and it excites me.
My family is still my number one priority and getting my life together and finally on the right path is what they need for me to be able to take care of them. I know that my life doesn't have to be nearly as stressful as I make it out to be but I take on the worries of those around me and those that I care about (which is pretty much all of my friends and family). In the end hopefully helping those around me will pay off but until then I will keep doing my part.
It's time for myself again, it's time for me to be that carefree, loving, warm, happy person I was last May. While my happiness may have been in having met someone I really felt alot for, I think that I'm at that point in my life where independence is something I really need and that leaning on someone isn't what I need. I need to learn to trust myself, believe in myself, and realize that I need no one there to make me who I am and get me to where I need to be.
I'm hopeful for this summer to be better than the last and I'm hopeful that this next year will bring a lot of opportunities to me and that PA school will be in my near future. As I work through becoming a calmer not so high strung person I have learned that things that I worry about don't need to be my worry and that it's good to just go with the flow and take things as they come. Now that my life is more in order I feel like it's alot less clutter in my life and that it's time for me to finally take a step back and see all that I've accomplished and take time to be proud of myself and sit back and reap the benefits of all my hard work. Hopefully life keeps up on this rising rollercoaster ride. I'm open to accept every opportunity and really embrace the new things that come into my life.
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