How do you get rid of the things in your life that you feel are so unnecessary yet there is something about your personality that tries to make everything alright. I woke up this morning thinking this day is great, it's sunny out, I'm going out with friends to see a movie, and then I'm going to be playing a ton of volleyball with some great people. All of the suddent I'm in between an argument with my sister and my mother which I think I helped both see how they were right and wrong and how to get through the problem and come out on the other side with both being happy. I also find out my dad after working for the store he has been at for over 35 years is telling him he's not doing a good enough job and making him drive a half hour for less pay to another store. I don't know what it is about me but I automatically feel bad for people when they get bad news or have to go through something hard. It's not only feeling bad for them but me also taking the grief, pressure, stress, and emotions on for them. Maybe it's a character flaw, maybe it's a flawed personality or maybe I'm just too weak. When I finally got over all of that I went out to NE Minneapolis to pick up a prescription and while I'm standing in the candy aisle looking for stuff to get for the movie and trying to remember what kind of candy everyone likes so I can get some for everyone I get a text saying that one person who is coming to the movie doesn't want me to go. That one person I have no idea what I did to him to ever make him dislike me. I have never been mean to him even though he has done everything to put people against me. It's funny because we started out our friendship with him being great, I was a great friend to him, we were a lot a like, and occassionally he'd try to push that friendship boundary. But I never judged him, I never disliked him for the way he was, I was really understanding, and I tried to look past all the bad things, yet he for some reason can't grow up. I don't know why I keep associating myself with these types of people. Maybe it's because I know that they're capable of good and maybe I feel I can take the heat for the time being and just be the punching bag. But when I get to such a low point in my day I try to think of what the point was or what the worth in it was, that's when I begin to realize there was none. Some people, or groups of people, just don't know when to grow up, take the higher road, and move on with life. I've tried to so hard to be there for these people and I just get slapped in the face.
I'd like to say from now that I'm going to not associate with these types of people and that I'm going to just move on. But I know that I will continue to try and be that friend to them even when they do things that are wrong. Even last night my persistance showed me that this outlook and way of acting does work out sometimes. I had a few incidents with one of the girls in the group and I have forgiven and moved past the incidents and last night was a great time. Sometimes I feel that God tries to reward me for my patience and persistence. Perhaps it is all worth it. But there are days where I feel like I just want to sink away. Today it is beautiful out and I can't let one silly person who is a known "not so nice" person get me down. I'm being the bigger person and I'm going to look past it.
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