It's been a while since I've written. I feel like in a matter of 20 days my entire life has changed courses. I officially want to go on to receive my masters for Nursing and then go on to become a DNP. I just know that I want to help people and this is the best way and why I haven't thought of this before blows my mind. I think it might be because my mother scared me out of being a nurse but not because she's an amazing one but she feels she should have gone on with her career, taken it to a new level. I'm excited to know what I want to do now I just have to get it. I'm working like crazy to make sure that this happens. I recently had an interview for biolife, which I hope I land this job because it would be amazing not only for myself but also for helping me get into the nursing profession.
I need to get back in touch with everyone concerning FIMRC because there is so much possibility for us this year. I'm excited that I'm going to be back for a full year and that I can be there with this group for all the activities I had planned in the spring. There's something about helping people that makes life so worth it. There are days that I get down and I feel like a failure, but I feel like I'm on a good path.
As far as the rest of my life. Socially I feel like I've drifted a bit from my friends but we are all so busy with jobs, lives, and relationships that I feel we have lost time for eachother. It's good though, the fact that we are all growing up, having jobs and having relationships. I'm glad that I myself have something of a relationship going. I'm extremely happy and it makes me happy everyday that I wake up knowing that something good has been happening in my life. Having no arguments, no "yelling" disagreements and a shared love of food makes things easy. I can't remember the last time things in life were easy but this is. There is such little expectation and a lot of fun. As I sat in an amazing bath tonight I realized that I'm so much different than a year ago and especially from two years ago. I feel that if my exes saw me today they'd rethink alot of what happened between me and them good and bad. But that's a good thing for me. I'm changing, evolving and becoming the person I really want to be. I'm in something good, I have good things happening for myself in school and career wise. It scares me a bit because I'll admit that I'm just waiting for something to go wrong. Whether it is with school and getting financial aid or not getting this new job, life just makes me nervous. I've been seeing this guy for about a month and a half and I'm just waiting for that moment that he either wakes up and realizes this isn't what he wants or I somehow talk myself out of it. So far neither has happened. A friend from high school recently passed away. She was a year younger and it makes me realize how fragile life is and that I really need to stop self sabotaging. It is no good for me and even worse for those around me. I'm going to let the good come and handle the bad as it presents itself. I'll question things from time to time and not know what to do about a lot of hard things but I'll survive, I'll get through them and I'll try to make the best of everything. It is sad because I'm going to be gone for a long period of time from the guy I'm seeing yet I'm so excited to catch up with really old friends, new friends, and get to experience the few things I've looked forward to all summer. I'm drinking life in in many different ways!
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